Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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