i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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