Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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