I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize