and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize