Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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