End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize