Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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