I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize