Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize