The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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