Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The struggles of a small town man whore
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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