i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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