So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize