The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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