He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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