This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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