Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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