This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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