hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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