you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize