im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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