I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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