Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize