This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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