yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize