God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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