Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

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(617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon. http://tfl.nu/mzh2

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(954): View more from Florida

Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?

(1-954): View more from Florida

Hurt me personally.

(954): View more from Florida

Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though

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(954): Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass? (1-954): Hurt me personally. (954): Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though http://tfl.nu/ypmo

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(949): View more from California

how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?

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(949): how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to? http://tfl.nu/2e6r

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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n

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(732): View more from New Jersey

people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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(732): people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself. http://tfl.nu/7r6x

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..

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(781): i just added no after every hockey player in my phone.. http://tfl.nu/mdhx

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.

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(+44): It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done. http://tfl.nu/song

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(301): View more from Maryland

Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.

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(301): Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back. http://tfl.nu/elq7

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(778): View more from British Columbia

When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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(778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u

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(703): View more from Virginia

Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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(703): Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix http://tfl.nu/hs2f

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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(612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2

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(302): View more from Delaware

Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

(302): View more from Delaware

I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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(302): Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm... (302): I just found it. I hope it leads to food. http://tfl.nu/w6o4

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign

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(603): Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign http://tfl.nu/pss1

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(954): View more from Florida

threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.

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(954): threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/r0t4

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(651): View more from Minnesota

How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?

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(651): How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now? http://tfl.nu/kz7z

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