so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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