last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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