the condom got lost in my hair
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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