i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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