So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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