The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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