Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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