haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize