i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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