forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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