I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
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We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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