Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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