i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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