i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize