do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have fence marks all over my body
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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