i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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