You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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