i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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