All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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