windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
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well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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