Cold hands, warm shart.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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