I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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